Virtual
Gourmet
❖❖❖ A
DINER'S MODERN DICTIONARY
by John Mariani
NEW YORK CORNER
NOTES FROM THE WINE CELLAR
❖❖❖
A DINER'S MODERN DICTIONARY Taste: Flavor;
Also, the ideas of a culture in regard to what is
harmonious or beautiful. Among so-called “hipster
foodies” the latter is considered a wholly
antiquated concept. Contrived: Obviously planned
or forced, artificial, strained. See “Modernist
Cuisine.” Modernist Cuisine. Also
“molecular cuisine.”
The contrivance of cooks for whom good taste
is secondary to mere sensationalism. Also, the
deliberate manipulation of an ingredient to be
unrecognizable as food. Manners: Polite standards,
still confusing for or ignored by many American
diners and therefore no longer expected at most
restaurants. Service: Duties performed by
a waiter or restaurant employee to make a guest feel
welcome and happy.
In current usage, it often means the least
amount of attention and interaction between guests
and waiters. Tip: A payment to a
restaurant employee for work his employer refuses to
pay for. The colloquialism “greasing the palm” means
to pay the maître d’ or manager to insure he
will suck up to a guest, usually proffered by people
with a low sense of self-esteem or lack of manners.
Reservation: A table at a
restaurant requested in advance and held for the
guest for at least fifteen minutes. Although usually
honored by most restaurants, they are commonly
laughed at by managers of NYC steakhouses or not
taken at all at the newest hot spots. Background music: Soft,
soothing music to provide mood to a restaurant
without intruding on a room’s natural conviviality.
Currently, this has changed to the playing of “house
music” so deafeningly loud that only the bass and
drums can be heard. Dress code: Once a
reasonable request that guests dress appropriate to
the style of restaurant, i.e., fine
dining, eatery, diner; now considered an insult by
those for whom
t-shirts, jeans and flip flops are good enough for
any public room anywhere, often expressed as “Nice
clothes don’t make the food taste any better.” Tablecloths: A
thousand-year-old amenity used to provide a
sanitary, sound-absorbing, light reflecting soft
surfaces, now considered wholly unnecessary and
antithetical to a “design statement,” i.e., a
cheap restaurateur trying to cut out linen costs. Host/hostess/reservationist:
A person at the front desk whose job is to make
guests feel welcome, acknowledge their reservations,
and show them to their table. Often, however, this
job is now left to a highly attractive young woman
whose only job is to recognize celebrities or
restaurant critics and swoon accordingly. Tasting Menu: An endless
sequence of chef’s choices designed to overwhelm
your judgment and to get you to order more wine. “A” list: A list kept by the
maître d’ for regulars, celebrities, Russian
billionaires, critics, and palm greasers. “B” list
is everyone else. Wine pairings: A sommelier’s
matching of appropriate wines to a tasting menu;
also, a way of using up the wines from last night’s
tasting menu. Gouging: A way restaurants
extort money from a guest without his knowing it, e.g.,
charging extra for a cocktail served straight up
rather than on the rocks, or by promoting bottled
water. Seating plan: A way
to make sure every waiter gets an efficient workload
for the evening. Also, a way for maître d’s to
put people in their place. Siberia: A mythical space in
restaurants where anyone not on the “A” list
believes he is seated.
Supplements: Extra charges
above a fixed price menu for certain items,
justified for caviar alone, but not for smoked
salmon, foie gras, lamb, risotto or soufflés.
Small plate menu: A menu
designed to encourage customers to order too many
dishes that add up to an unexpected large bill. Locavore: A person or cook
who eats only food grown or produced within a
certain mileage from the dinner table. Exemptions
commonly include wine, all seasonal fruits and
vegetables, meat and fish. Bread: Except in Asian
restaurants, the service of bread is a worldwide
amenity (once incurring a cover charge), now brought
to the table only after guests have ordered their
meal, in case they fill up on bread
and cut out an appetizer or dessert.
Vegans: People who for
ethical, religious, dietetic, or philosophical
reasons do not eat any food that once had a face and
flaunt their fanaticism in everyone else’s face.
❖❖❖
NEW YORK CORNER The
Sweetest Lobster in the Sea
It
pays to have connections in the hospitality
business, particularly when it comes to acquiring
specialty food items that make the difference
between ordinary and great. USDA Prime beef, for
example, is in short supply, and allotted primarily
to the finer steakhouses, while consumers are
limited to lesser cuts in the supermarkets.
❖❖❖ NOTES FROM THE WINE CELLAR Not-So-Fizzy,
Dry, Elegant Lambruscos Demand Respect
❖❖❖
(Selections
from the dining guide of San Francisco Magazine,
July 2012).
Frances Bar
Jules
Rose
Pistola
Umami
Burger
Ame
Coi
❖❖❖
POLITICAL
CORRECTNESS
Matthew
Mittenthal, a spokesman for the NYC Department of
Education, told media the new list of topics that
"could evoke unpleasant emotions in the students" on
standardized tests include pepperoni,
because "persons of some religions or cultures
may not indulge in."
Any of John
Mariani's books below may be ordered from amazon.com.
❖❖❖ Everett Potter's Travel Report: I consider this the best and
savviest blog of its kind on the web. Potter is
a columnist for USA
Weekend, Diversion, Laptop and Luxury Spa Finder,
a contributing editor for Ski and a frequent contributor
to National
Geographic Traveler, ForbesTraveler.com
and Elle Decor.
"I’ve designed this site is for people who take
their travel seriously," says Potter. "For
travelers who want to learn about special places
but don’t necessarily want to pay through the nose for
the privilege of staying there. Because at the
end of the day, it’s not so much about five-star
places as five-star experiences." THIS WEEK:
Eating Las Vegas is the new on-line site for Virtual Gourmet contributor John A. Curtas., who since 1995 has been commenting on the Las Vegas food scene and reviewing restaurants for Nevada Public Radio. He is also the restaurant critic for KLAS TV, Channel 8 in Las Vegas, and his past reviews can be accessed at KNPR.org. Click on the logo below to go directly to his site.
Tennis Resorts Online: A Critical Guide to the World's Best Tennis Resorts and Tennis Camps, published by ROGER COX, who has spent more than two decades writing about tennis travel, including a 17-year stretch for Tennis magazine. He has also written for Arthur Frommer's Budget Travel, New York Magazine, Travel & Leisure, Esquire, Money, USTA Magazine, Men's Journal, and The Robb Report. He has authored two books-The World's Best Tennis Vacations (Stephen Greene Press/Viking Penguin, 1990) and The Best Places to Stay in the Rockies (Houghton Mifflin, 1992 & 1994), and the Melbourne (Australia) chapter to the Wall Street Journal Business Guide to Cities of the Pacific Rim (Fodor's Travel Guides, 1991).
MARIANI'S VIRTUAL GOURMET
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John Mariani. Contributing Writers: Christopher Mariani,
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Curtas, Edward Brivio, Mort Hochstein, Suzanne
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