Eating what TV omnivore Andrew Zimmern (below) put in his mouth on the Travel Channel’s “Bizarre Foods” each week, like giant sea squirt, coral worms and rectum sausage, was once the hapless lot—though never the intent—of 19th century adventurers like Sir Richard Burton, who while trekking from Zanzibar into the Congo would have given anything for some good British beef and Yorkshire pudding.
         Travelers’ illnesses can lay low, even kill, guys who count themselves manly, if they gulp down stinky tofu in Taipei or maggots in the Yucatan.  But Ernest Hemingway would have shot anyone on safari who suggested he drink the blood of a water buffalo.
         It’s bad enough just dealing with unwashed lettuce in a salad in Tijuana, much less shrimp pulled up from the putrid rivers of Phnom Penh. And you can just as easily come down with Delhi Belly in Mumbai as you can Montezuma’s Revenge in Mexico City.       
     You’re never going to escape it entirely, not on the Champs Élysées or the Via Veneto, though you can take precautions by watching out for certain foods that have a greater chance of bringing you to your knees, talking to Ralph on the big white phone.
         And now that it appears we might be beating back the Covid scourge and countries are lifting their travel bans, Americans are starting to make travel plans again. The basic problem is that if you grew up in the U.S., no matter how healthy your are, you haven’t developed defenses against all exotic bacteria.  The stress of travel, the different schedules and missed routines can compromise your immune system so that you’re ripe to pick up bacteria from something as innocent-looking as a stalk of celery. Even a cold, uncooked soup like gazpacho can mean trouble.
         And because it’s impossible to know what the animal you intend to eat was eating before it got to you, odd species like snake and rats are not to be trifled with.
         Next problem is how the food was handled, even in the finest restaurants.  Hell, 67 out of 78 people dining at Noma in Copenhagen, considered by some the best restaurant in the world, got food poisoning one night.  But the odds stacked against you really mount in street foods, especially when running water is not always readily available.  I recall being in the day market in Bangkok in 90-degree heat where vendors displayed meat and even fish without any refrigeration or ice in the stalls.
         Processed foods out of China and Thailand have become so problematic—sometimes what the package says, like beef, isn’t even what’s inside—that many Chinese markets and restaurants in America refuse to buy ingredients from Asia and proclaim that on their menus.
         Still, there are specific foods that are in varying degrees risky. Here are a few I (mostly) stay away from in foreign countries.  Manly man that I am, I can live without ever eating Mexican monkey’s brains or Malaysian ants.  And probably live longer.
    Raw shellfish—However proud an Osaka sushi chef is of the pristine quality of his raw seafood, shellfish, which are bottom feeders, pick up a lot of nasty bacteria, and if uncooked, they can easily be transferred to you.  Cooking them should kill most of the bacteria, and the fish used for sashimi is pretty safe.  But eating raw oysters or mussels anywhere can be hazardous. Oyster-causing hepatitis can be a killer that destroys your liver (and thereby your ability to drink alcohol). You can also get a tapeworm from eating contaminated raw meat.
    Wild game—Next time you enjoy a nice haunch of venison at a restaurant in the U.S., rest assured it came—by law—from an inspected game farm.  Wild game, even trout from crystalline Alaskan rivers, may contain bad-ass bacteria, and before you eat what you kill in the wild, you’d better be damn sure the animal was healthy.  If you do see “wild game” on a menu, then it was most probably venison or grouse that was shot in Scotland and approved for sale by a game inspector. One of the best, most reliable sources for wild game is D’Artagnan Foods, which imports inspected foods including Scottish pheasant, redlegged partridge, grouse and wood pigeon. 
        Every guidebook to a foreign country stresses not eating unwashed, uncooked vegetables and fruits.  And too many people have done so anyway at their peril and ended up sick as a dog from salmonella,  Cyclospora, campylobacter, and more.  You can wash and scrub and peel raw fruits and vegetables and remove the outer bacteria, but that won’t kill what’s inside. Boiling and cooking is more advisable. And watch out for desserts, too, that may have raw fruit in or around them. Order a nice slice of baked apple pie instead.
        Some Americans still harbor an irrational fear about eating pork that has not been cooked to shoe leather, supposedly to kill off the trichinosis larvae. The fact is, there are fewer than twenty reported cases of trichinosis in the U.S. each year, and all of them come from eating wild game, including wild hog.  Hog production in the U.S. is extremely hygienic, so cooking your pig till pink is just fine. In the rest of the world, however, particularly in Third World countries, such hygiene is not standard practice, so only eat pork there that has been thoroughly cooked through to 160 degrees F.  Of course, how would you know?
        Bet you didn't know that half of all egg-related illnesses, mainly salmonella, are picked up in restaurants, including in the U.S.  The problem is in the chicken that lays them, not the shell itself, though this should be thoroughly washed, something that cannot be counted on abroad, where a freshly laid egg is cherished. That means no Caesar salads abroad and no steak tartar with a raw egg in it.  Forget the raw steak too.
        It used to be advised when traveling abroad not to drink the water, even in Europe.  But this has largely become irrelevant if you’re staying in most modern cities like Paris, Stockholm or Tokyo, where the better hotels filter their water.  Nevertheless, unless you ask, you won't know that, and even brushing your teeth with contaminated water is going to be bad news.  Bottled water is crucial when traveling, and the more familiar the label on the bottle, the better off you’ll be.  Drinking from a fountain is very stupid.  A friend of mine recently spent three weeks in spasmodic pain just because he caught a wave of river water in his mouth while sailing on a river in Thailand.
        If you’re taking a pleasant cruise down the Amazon with a reputable outfitter, you probably don’t need to be told about chicha (left).  But just in case you are invited by some local tribesmen anywhere in the Amazon Basin to knock back a tot of chicha, do anything to avoid it. Chicha comes in many forms, but it always involves saliva.  In some cases the cassava root is chewed by the tribeswomen and the juice spat into a bowl that is left to ferment into alcohol.  The honor of drinking chicha is one that may follow you home for the next several months.  Fortunately, I have not been so honored; unfortunately, I do not know the etiquette for turning down the chief’s offer to take a swig. Maybe tell him your doctor put you on antibiotics and said you can’t drink alcohol.

WINES FOR LATE WINTER
OR MAYBE EARLY SPRING
By John Mariani

Gary Cooper and Audrey Hepburn in "Love in the Afternoon" (1957)

 

     So, even Texas got gob-smacked with a slap of winter this year. But it seems if things are mellowing, maybe, just maybe the snowstorms have ceased, and it’s time to think about drinking some new wines that come with warmer temperatures.  Here are a few I’m enjoying.

 

Domaine Weinbach Schlossburg Riesling 2017 ($50)—The aromatics in this fine three-year-old Grand Cru Alsatian Riesling are complex, and the 13.5% alcohol gives it a lively buoyancy along with the zesty acids. It’s made in a tough, wet terroir, so grapes must be carefully culled from the vineyards, and only about 8,000 cases were made. With choucroute, or maybe a St. Patrick’s Day dinner, this will be terrific.

 

Chelsea Goldschmidt Guidestone Rise Merlot 2018 ($22)—An Alexander Valley Merlot with everything there is to like about the varietal, its softness, its mild tannins and its vivid fruit, and at this price it’s well worth putting on any table at any time.

 

Red Electric Armstrong Vineyard Interurban 2018 ($28)—Proof positive that Oregon is the West Coast’s superior Pinot Noir producer and does so at a remarkably low price. Winemaker John Grochau and grape grower Douglas Ackerman are referencing the historic Red Electric train that goes from Portland to Willamette Valley. With just 13.85% alcohol this wine also proves the idiocy of boosting Pinot Noirs up to 15% and beyond. You get closer to the Burgundy flavors of refined dark fruit and velvety middle before a satisfying long finish.

 

Sokol Blosser Estate Pinot Noir Dundee Hills 2018 ($42)—I will hammer my point home about Oregon Pinot Noirs with this Dundee Hills beauty from the perennially satisfying Sokol Loser. The 2018 weather was exceptionally hot and promised high-sugar, high-alcohol wines, but a cooler autumn, while allowing for longer hang time, did not result in too much sugar to be turned into too much alcohol. A very good wine with Easter lamb.

 

Dutton Goldfield Pinot Noir McDougall Vineyard Pinot Noir 2018 ($68)—Having just boosted Oregon’s rep for Pinot Noir, I must also recognize the best coming out of California, like this example made along the Sonoma Coast, which  enjoys a cooler climate than elsewhere so the flavors are not pungent or punch-like, and the 14.1% alcohol is very reasonable. The price is high, but this is among the best out of California. Only 379 cases produced.

 

Sforzato di Valtellina Infinito Tenuta Scersé 2016 ($50)—A powerhouse but not a blockbuster, this full-fruited Nebbiolo from the Valtellina is 14.5% alcohol but its layers of flavor and four years of age have tamed the tannins. Lesser examples can be too leathery but always have enormous richness. A great match with lusty ragùs or long-simmered meats.

 

Carpénè Malvotti Conegliano Valdobbiadene Prosecco Superiore n.v. ($19) —I’ve been drinking a good deal of Prosecco, some very good, some mediocre, and this one from the superior Valdobbiadene region, where acreage is now sky-high in price, is one of the best for the amount of flavor without sweetness, marked “very dry.” I sip it before dinner with just about everything from Ritz crackers to foie gras and am never disappointed, and everyone likes it when I pop the cork on this sparkler.

 

Raeburn Winery Rosé 2020 ($20)—Fresh out of the estate, this rosé from the Russian River Valley overcame a hot summer to emerge with a big floral bouquet that is perhaps the most telling aspect for a rosé made from 74% Pinot Noir, 22% Zinfandel and 4% Grenache, with a touch more alcohol than some others. Delightful with springtime cheeses.

 

 

NEXT WEEK THEY WILL HAVE A
RECIPE FOR APPLE PIE WITH NO APPLES

In the NYTimes for Feb. 25 there is a recipe for "Meatless Bolognese," which contains walnuts, fennel, soy sauce, oregano and Marmite, saying, "Some cooks may balk at a vegan version of Bolognese because it bypasses the beef and milk that are usually integral to the Italian classic."