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Virtual Gourmet

APRIL 26, 2026                                                                                                     NEWSLETTER

 

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Los Angeles Roadside Eatery

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THE INTIMIDATED AMERICAN DINER
By John Mariani




THE BISON
CHAPTER  NINETEEN

By John Mariani

NOTES FROM THE WINE CELLAR   
ARGENTINE MALBECS DESERVE RECOGNITION

By John Mariani




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THE INTIMIDATED AMERICAN DINER

By John Mariani






Orson Welles and Patrick Terrail at Ma Maison

 

People who say that "No one wants to eat at fine dining restaurants anymore" are usually people who have not the acumen or manners to do so.

It’s not about the money, for those who blanche at the thought of spending $200 for a meal in Paris with wine (including service and tax) will readily spend that at a steakhouse where a Tomahawk steak alone runs $150 at Morton’s in New York.

It is also no longer a reluctance to put on a jacket and tie to dine at an upscale restaurant, because the number of restaurants left in the world that require such an outfit is minuscule: The Ritz in London (left) does, but the Ritz in Paris does not. Nowhere in New York does any restaurant even have a dress code beyond a “request” not to wear shorts and sandals.

No, the real reason Americans scoff at going to fine dining restaurants both here and abroad is because they feel intimidated by a lack of knowledge and anxiety over how they’ll be treated.

And many should feel that way because they have not taken the least trouble to find out what to expect and how to act in a posh restaurant.

       French Restaurant Syndrome (FRS) is particularly prevalent when Americans go abroad, fearing their own ignorance will make them feel inadequate. They believe that the outdated stereotype of the snobbish captain and waiter who seeks to put an American in his place rather than just seat him is still firmly entrenched, when nothing could be further from the truth.  Indeed, the contemporary attitude on the part of any restaurant staff is to do everything possible to please every guest wherever he comes from, simply because another guest is another paying customer. Only arrogant guests get the treatment they deserve.

       If, by any chance, you do feel a bit intimidated by the fine dining experience––and it is an experience that requires rapport––here are some suggestions to ease your anxieties.

   1.  Do dress well, which is usually not a problem for American women but can be for American men who neglected to pack a sport coat. A jacket and tie will be very much noticed and appreciated.

    2.    Always make a reservation, and for that ask your hotel concierge to make it for you and to relay to him any special requests you may have––a special occasion, a quiet table, a table on the terrace. These are more readily granted, when available, via a concierge who works with these restaurants every day.

3.  Consider going to lunch, which in even the most storied restaurants are more likely to have an empty table.

4.  Many fine dining restaurants in Europe have only one seating at night, and they may not even open until seven PM. So don’t ask for a 5:30 or 9:30  table, although the latter is fine for a bistro or trattoria.

    5.  Do not in any way be intimidated by a sommelier or a bible-thick wine list. Tell the sommelier your budget and his job is to be helpful, not to push $500 bottles of Bordeaux on you. Many fine restaurants will have a selection of particularly well-priced wines they are proud to serve.

   
6.Ordering a salad, grilled fish without sauce or steak well-done is so antithetical to fine dining that it is better you do not go at all.

   
7.
These days there is never a problem with speaking English because someone, if not most, on the staff will be fluent.

   
8. 
Do not feel the need to tip: The service charge is  built into the price of the meal, so leaving anything more than, say, ten euros on the table marks you as a patsy.

   
9. 
Do afford yourself the pleasure of the cheese cart, which is one of many thingsFrench restaurants pride themselves on.

   10.   State your allergies or likes and dislikes, even if you are a vegetarian. Vegans, however, will find it nearly impossible to dine at such restaurants and will surely frustrate the chef’s efforts to please you.

11.       Learn the simple rules of etiquette with silverware: There will rarely be more than an appetizer fork, tablespoon, fork and knife, though  knives may be different for either fish or meat.

12.       If you do fancy yourself a gourmand or connoisseur, never try to flaunt it or show off with pretentious commentary in front of the staff, who already know what you are spouting about.  







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THE BISON

By John Mariani




CHAPTER NINETEEN


        Katie reported into Dobell who told her, “I’m warming up to this story but only if we can get inside the financial dealings. Rich guys accepting Epstein’s hospitality has got to result in favors, political or monetary.” 
      
“That’s mainly why the FBI and IRS are in on this investigation.”
       “They’ll take forever. If they ever get a court order to thrash around in Epstein’s house I’d be surprised if there was so much as a matchbook cover of evidence to be found. The banks in the Cayman Islands won’t work with the feds; the Swiss are almost as bad.”
       “Want David and me to break into Epstein’s one night” asked Katie.
       “Not a great idea. And if you’re caught I’ll say I disavow even knowing you, like in Mission Impossible.”
       “Maybe the key is to find someone here or in New York that Epstein screwed in a financial or investment deal, like that fund that went bankrupt.”  
      
“That’s what I was going to suggest, though I think your chances are better back here than down there. Come back and I’ll have the staff  get you names and numbers.”
       “Sounds like a plan,” said Katie.
       She had her return open ticket and called David to tell him she were heading back to New York.
       David said, “You go. I think Rush has a few more cards to play that might follow the money. Let’s keep in touch.”
    
     
Katie flew home that evening, and the next day she headed into the office, where Dobell had already alerted some of the staff as to what they were looking for. Donna Druley already had names of those who went down in flames with the Tower Financial scheme Epstein somehow escaped.
       “It’s a long list but here in New York there are maybe a dozen people affected,” she said. “I actually know one of them and remember how devastated he was when Epstein got away scot-free. I called him and he would love to speak with you. Name is Sam Unitas, lives in the Village. I think he’s out of the market and runs a Cadillac dealership on the West Side. Here’s his number."

    Katie immediately phoned Unitas, who was only to eager to meet with her. When she arrived at the dealership he was waiting for her just inside the door. He was in his forties, in good shape, with a comb-over and goatee, wearing suit pants and a pink shirt with white collar.
    "I'm a big admirer of your work," he said. "Glad you survived. So you want to talk about Epstein's Ponzi scheme and how I got taken to the cleaners."
    Katie said, "Whatever you can tell me."
    "Like I said, it was a Ponzi scheme. With
all his contacts and backers he’d switch the money around to each other. In my case, and all those who got killed in the Tower scheme, one of those shells turned out to be empty.”
       “So, let me get this straight. You’re saying that Epstein was a conduit for dirty money.”
       “See,” said Unitas, “that’s where people don’t understand something about huge amounts of money. There’s definitely ‛dirty’ money that has to be laundered, which is where Jeffrey came in, but there’s also legitimate money. But there’s often so much of it that it, too,  has to be shuffled around and hidden somewhere it’s difficult to trace. Remember, not only was Jeffrey devious but he had a mathematician’s mind. He, really, more than anyone I’ve ever met, deeply understood numbers. He analyzed them dispassionately so that he could assess and adjust large amounts of cash so as to seem to disappear. Again, the shell game. Yet as a tax consultant he never really had more than two or three clients.”
       “So,” Katie spoke slowly, “while you say this goes on all the time, Epstein is the main pipeline and had the ability to play one off the other or bring these people together and work their deals through him.”
       “Exactly. Like you say, a pipeline, and if the pipeline breaks, the oil spills out all over the place and everything and everybody gets dirty. And it’s all done because he has them by the short hairs with regard to their attending his parties. Not only does he know where all the money is but he knows what special services this guy or that guy wants. I’m sure his mansions are all set up with video cameras. If he ever gets raided by the police of feds they’ll find them. But I can guarantee they won’t find any of the videos themselves, which he will have safely stored somewhere else and probably could flick a switch and have them all self-destruct.”
       “Do think all these men fear Jeffrey?”
       Unitas snickered. “These guys all thrive on risk. Jeffrey’s just another risk, but when you have all your colleagues, and even your enemies, in the same game, then they have to trust Jeffrey to protect them. So far it’s worked for him for a long time. And I and a lot of other people pray for his time to come.”
       The interview went on for a few more minutes, then Unitas was called by an employer to come finish the sales contract of his customer.
       “You interested in a new Cadillac, Katie?”
       “No, I’m good at the moment,” thinking how ridiculous she’d look driving around in a Seville, even if her father had always said a Caddie is the only car worth owning.

       David called Rush and asked him if there were any bankers he could speak to about Epstein’s money transfers, but Rush reminded  him that no one was going to speak to him if he wasn’t a cop or a reporter.
       “You can’t just waltz into a branch of JP Morgan and ask a manager about Epstein’s financials,” said Rush. “Did you ever think of getting a private investigator’s license?”
       “Never. I’m not interested in being hired to sneak around looking in windows.”
       “Then you’re not going to get to the money men. Maybe Katie can, but no one will talk to you. And both Barber and Cherico told me they can’t help you beyond what they’ve already told you. And that includes Katie.”
       “Well, I guess that means I’ll head back to New York. I’ll fly out of Miami.”
       “Why not just  catch a plane out of Palm Beach?”
       “There’s a guy I want to pay a call on.”
       Rush straightened himself in his chair and said, “David, I hope you’re not thinking of going after Vargas.”
       David shrugged and said, “Hey, thanks for all your help, Terry. I’ll call you if Katie and I come across anything else you should know.”
       By the time Rush could say, “David, don’t be an idiot,” his friend hung up.
      David had grown tired of the back-and-forth drive from Palm Beach to Miami, but just could not shake the opportunity to meet with Vargas face to face. As a cop he would have been on his doorstep the next day; as a guy with no badge, he was taking a chance of Vargas reporting him to the police for harassment. David already knew Vargas’s address out of which he operated his brothel in Calle Ocho, so he headed to Versailles to find out if Vargas had been in that day.     
    He approached the manager who had been present when Vargas had tried to pull Susannah from Sanchez’s table.
       “Señor, remember me?” asked David. “I want to thank you for backing me up when I was in here with Vargas.”
       “Not a problem, Señor. I don’t like his type in here, bringing in his girls with a client. Señora Sanchez would never do that.”
       “Has he been here today?”
       “No, I think he fears looking like a fool after the incident last week. Perdió la cara. He lost face.”                    
    D
avid wanted to say, he’s going to lose more than face, but instead thanked the manager and drove to Vargas’s address. He parked across the street and waited. Over the next half hour he saw two men go into the house and one young woman leave. David knew that Vargas was not running a cheap whorehouse where any man could knock on the door unannounced and without an appointment. And it crossed his mind that if Vargas did not show up, David would be better off, but with a flight four hours away, he also had nothing else to do with his time. He only wished it wasn’t so damn hot and humid. Keeping the motor running to keep the a/c on would have looked suspicious.


 




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NOTES FROM THE WINE CELLAR






 ARGENTINEAN MALBECS   DESERVE
 WORLD-WIDE RECOGNITION



By John Mariani




Rio Negro, Patagonia

 

        Who knew? April 17 has been declared Malbec World Day, at least according to WoFa (Wines of Argentina), which is understandable since the country is the main producer of the varietal, with nearly 110,000  acres of vineyards cultivated by 200 wineries, making up 22.4% of the total cultivated area in the country.

        Malbec almost didn’t survive the phylloxera plague of the 19th century in French vineyards, where it was planted in Cahors (where Malbec was called  "Côt.")

        Fortunately, in 1853, before phylloxera hit Europe, French agronomist Michel Aimé Pouget had been commissioned by the politician and statesman (later President of Argentina), Domingo Faustino Sarmiento (left), to import new grape varieties, including Malbec, which flourished in the Andean foothills.

Argentina has also been turning out some impressive Garnacha, Semillon and Marsanne, but the wines you’ll most likely find in U.S. wine stores will be Malbecs.

        I tasted several this week and found that they are much more appealing than the since recovered wines of Cahors, which tend to be inky and tannic. The Argentine  examples were very fresh and ready to drink, although a 2022 Crios ($15), from the Valle de Uco, Mendoza,  had clearly mellowed, while its acid kept it lively and, at this price, a real bargain. At 14% alcohol  and minimal oak it is in impeccable balance.




 

Cuchillo de Palo Malbec 2024 ($30) has 5% Petit Verdot added to the Malbec for a perky fruitiness, and 2024 was a year of ideal warm but not intensely hot weather, with gradual grape ripening. It is aged for 16 months in used oak barrels, so it has only a faint flavor of the charred wood. I can see drinking this with just about any meats this summer, including poultry.

 

Colomé Auténtico 2023 ($44). Bodega Colome dates back to 1831 as a winery and thereby has the right to boast it is “authentic.” Their wines come from higher altitudes in the Calchaquí Valleys than most Malbecs, which means that more intense sun produces a thicker-skinned grape that makes a heartier red wine, even without spending any time in oak. Instead it is aged 10 months in tank and concrete eggs, 10 months in bottle, emerging at 14.5%, so it’s a wine you drink with grilled red meats.

 

 

Salentein Reserve Malbec 2023 ($22)   has a fine complexity, coming out of the Uco Valley, aged for one year, six months in stainless steel, six months in oak, which is a good equilibrium of freshness and mellowness. I like the fruitiness combined with a little pepper on the back of the palate, so it would be delicious with lamb, veal and chicken as well as spicy pastas.

 





Wapisa Malbec 2023
 ($25) claims to be very terroir driven, with its estate in Atlantic Patagonia on the Rio Negro (left), so the ocean brings in cool winds and a saline component to the soil. It spends eight months in barrel and comes out at a lovely 13.9% that makes it a good match with salmon or mackerel, paella, as well as red meats.

 


Finca Canal Uco 2022 ( $100). If you wish to  make the leap to the top ranks of Argentine Malbec, Finca Canal Uco, made by the Zuccardi family,  is worth the price. It is a high altitude estate (3,608 feet above the Uco Valley) irrigated by a canal that draws from the Tunuyán River. The vintage was a cool year, allowing for good ripening of sugars. The wine was aged in concrete vessels with a finesse provided by winemaker Laura Principiano. Lovely herbal notes complement the fruit.

 

 

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PC GONE WILD


"The current steakhouse revival cannot be publicly politically neutral. According to Alicia Kennedy, 'It is a collective fever in which the right wing, masculinist approach of the carnivores has found a palatable way into polite society.'"––Eater.com
 

 












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 Any of John Mariani's books below may be ordered from amazon.com.



    The Hound in Heaven (21st Century Lion Books) is a  novella, and for anyone who loves dogs, Christmas, romance, inspiration, even the supernatural, I hope you'll find this to be a treasured  favorite. The  story concerns how, after a New England teacher, his wife and their two daughters adopt a stray puppy found in their barn in northern Maine, their lives seem full of promise. But when tragedy strikes, their wonderful dog Lazarus and the spirit of Christmas are the only things that may bring his master back from the edge of despair. 

WATCH THE VIDEO!

“What a huge surprise turn this story took! I was completely stunned! I truly enjoyed this book and its message.” – Actress Ali MacGraw

“He had me at Page One. The amount of heart, human insight, soul searching, and deft literary strength that John Mariani pours into this airtight novella is vertigo-inducing. Perhaps ‘wow’ would be the best comment.” – James Dalessandro, author of Bohemian Heart and 1906.


“John Mariani’s Hound in Heaven starts with a well-painted portrayal of an American family, along with the requisite dog. A surprise event flips the action of the novel and captures us for a voyage leading to a hopeful and heart-warming message. A page turning, one sitting read, it’s the perfect antidote for the winter and promotion of holiday celebration.” – Ann Pearlman, author of The Christmas Cookie Club and A Gift for my Sister.

“John Mariani’s concise, achingly beautiful novella pulls a literary rabbit out of a hat – a mash-up of the cosmic and the intimate, the tragic and the heart-warming – a Christmas tale for all ages, and all faiths. Read it to your children, read it to yourself… but read it. Early and often. Highly recommended.” – Jay Bonansinga, New York Times bestselling author of Pinkerton’s War, The Sinking of The Eastland, and The Walking Dead: The Road To Woodbury.

“Amazing things happen when you open your heart to an animal. The Hound in Heaven delivers a powerful story of healing that is forged in the spiritual relationship between a man and his best friend. The book brings a message of hope that can enrich our images of family, love, and loss.” – Dr. Barbara Royal, author of The Royal Treatment.




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The Encyclopedia of American Food and Drink by John F. Mariani (Bloomsbury USA, $35)

Modesty forbids me to praise my own new book, but let me proudly say that it is an extensive revision of the 4th edition that appeared more than a decade ago, before locavores, molecular cuisine, modernist cuisine, the Food Network and so much more, now included. Word origins have been completely updated, as have per capita consumption and production stats. Most important, for the first time since publication in the 1980s, the book includes more than 100 biographies of Americans who have changed the way we cook, eat and drink -- from Fannie Farmer and Julia Child to Robert Mondavi and Thomas Keller.


"This book is amazing! It has entries for everything from `abalone' to `zwieback,' plus more than 500 recipes for classic American dishes and drinks."--Devra First, The Boston Globe.

"Much needed in any kitchen library."--Bon Appetit.




Now in Paperback, too--How Italian Food Conquered the World (Palgrave Macmillan)  has won top prize  from the Gourmand World Cookbook Awards.  It is a rollicking history of the food culture of Italy and its ravenous embrace in the 21st century by the entire world. From ancient Rome to la dolce vita of post-war Italy, from Italian immigrant cooks to celebrity chefs, from pizzerias to high-class ristoranti, this chronicle of a culinary diaspora is as much about the world's changing tastes, prejudices,  and dietary fads as about our obsessions with culinary fashion and style.--John Mariani

"Eating Italian will never be the same after reading John Mariani's entertaining and savory gastronomical history of the cuisine of Italy and how it won over appetites worldwide. . . . This book is such a tasteful narrative that it will literally make you hungry for Italian food and arouse your appetite for gastronomical history."--Don Oldenburg, USA Today. 

"Italian restaurants--some good, some glitzy--far outnumber their French rivals.  Many of these establishments are zestfully described in How Italian Food Conquered the World, an entertaining and fact-filled chronicle by food-and-wine correspondent John F. Mariani."--Aram Bakshian Jr., Wall Street Journal.


"Mariani admirably dishes out the story of Italy’s remarkable global ascent to virtual culinary hegemony....Like a chef gladly divulging a cherished family recipe, Mariani’s book reveals the secret sauce about how Italy’s cuisine put gusto in gusto!"--David Lincoln Ross, thedailybeast.com

"Equal parts history, sociology, gastronomy, and just plain fun, How Italian Food Conquered the World tells the captivating and delicious story of the (let's face it) everybody's favorite cuisine with clarity, verve and more than one surprise."--Colman Andrews, editorial director of The Daily Meal.com.

"A fantastic and fascinating read, covering everything from the influence of Venice's spice trade to the impact of Italian immigrants in America and the evolution of alta cucina. This book will serve as a terrific resource to anyone interested in the real story of Italian food."--Mary Ann Esposito, host of PBS-TV's Ciao Italia.

"John Mariani has written the definitive history of how Italians won their way into our hearts, minds, and stomachs.  It's a story of pleasure over pomp and taste over technique."--Danny Meyer, owner of NYC restaurants Union Square Cafe,  The Modern, and Maialino.

                                                                             













              

MARIANI'S VIRTUAL GOURMET NEWSLETTER is published weekly.  Publisher: John Mariani. Editor: Walter Bagley. Contributing Writers: Christopher Mariani,  Misha Mariani, John A. Curtas, Gerry Dawes, Geoff Kalish. Contributing Photographer: Galina Dargery. Technical Advisor: Gerry McLoughlin.

 

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